When I retired from the Army, all ranks were given the opportunity to retrain for Civilian Life, thereby have a means to earn their crust, Army Pensions not being all they might be for other ranks. Well I was in the Mess one day when my friend General, well never mind the detail, but lets just call him SA said that he was minded to learn to be a Plasterer as he was sure such a skill would be invaluable on the Domestic Front. He then suggested that it might encourage The Troops, if I too did likewise. Can’t say that I was too keen on the idea, for Plastering seemed to me to be a messy sort of a business, however thinking on, it occurred to that Plumbing would be an entirely different kettle of fish, for drain and electric connections had long fascinated me. Well to cut a long story short, my fellow General and I each signed up for our respective courses, and in a few weeks found ourselves duly certificated.

On his retirement my friend put his skill to immediate use, re-plastering a ceiling in his newly purchased Georgian House, and all who saw the result of his handiwork declared the ceiling a remarkable feat. Since then I have plumbed the depths of several houses and in the process became an amateur expert in domestic plumbing, both aqueous and electrical, and too acquired a working knowledge concerning the control of flood waters, and how best to treat those affected by shock.

When now as President of the Unaffiliated Independent Party, Lady Phyllis drives me around the countryside, I still find the time to keep an eye on the plumbing front, and marvel to see how today’s Plumbers have developed the skill I was taught.